EP.10
//SEASON 3

When Home Is The Mouth Of A Shark

Daniela came from a place that became the mouth of a shark. In just a few months, she went from a teenager praying in her village church to a migrant, traversing half a continent to reach the Rio Grande.
August 20, 2021

Episode Host(s)

Ana, Host of Mosaic
Ana González

ANA: Hey everybody. This is Ana Gonzalez, and you’re listening to Mosaic.

There’s this poem from writer Warsan Shire called “Home”. She wrote it in 2009 reflecting on the war in her home country, Somalia. The opening stanza reads: no one leaves home unless

home is the mouth of a shark

you only run for the border

when you see the whole city running as well

ANA: Everybody has a story we don’t see. Every immigrant has a story of their journey that is part of their past and their present. This is Daniela’s story. She’s an unaccompanied minor. I’m using a pseudonym because Daniela still doesn’t have status. She came from a place that became the mouth of a shark. In just a few months, she went from a teenager praying in her village church to a migrant, traversing half a continent to reach the Rio Grande.

NAT SOUND OF PARK

ANA: Daniela and I are sitting at a picnic table in Roger Williams Park in Providence. We agreed on this place because it’s been a refuge for both of us. I call it Rogie Willz. It’s basically the central park of Rhode Island. I’ve been walking my dog here early mornings throughout the entire pandemic, chasing after swans, breathing in sunrises. And for Daniela, Rogie Willz is the place she would come by herself to escape when she first got to Rhode Island.

DANIELA: Cuando yo llegué a Rhode Island, y yo vi... lo único que me había sorprendido era el Downtown que cuando vi al Mall y eso, pero después? Yo dije, “¿Yo voy a vivir aquí??” [both laugh]

English: When I came to Rhode Island and I saw… the only thing that surprised me was Downtown when I saw the Mall and all that, but after? I said, “I’m gonna live here???”

ANA: ¿Cuál parte fue la más peor?

ENGLISH: What was the worst part?

DANIELA: Bueno, yo pienso que cuando viajamos a nuestro país y tenemos una expectativa muy diferente porque “Woww, los Estados Unidos, dólares, mansiones, gente millonaria y todo eso.” No esperamos ver como casas abandonadas, personas en la calle y, you know, muchas cosas que uno no, no trae esa expectativa.

English: Well, I think when we come to this country, we have a very different expectation because, it’s like “Wow, the United States: dollars, mansions, millionaires and all that.” We don’t expect to see, like, abandoned houses, people on the street, and, you know, a lot of things that one doesn’t, you don’t bring that expectation.

ANA: But she adjusted. In the past 4 years in Providence, Daniela has managed to finish her high school education and start college part-time through programs that help older students with unconventional educational backgrounds, like young parents and refugees and immigrants. Right now, Daniela’s focused on finding a new job since she lost hers in the pandemic, and she has a court date coming up.

DANIELA: Ahora mismo estoy haciendo el asilo porque fue por el que cualifique por mi edad… Tengo una corte ahora en agosto estoy para ver es la preliminar –

English: Right now, I’m filing for asylum because I could qualify for my age. I have a court date now in August to see, it’s the the preliminary

ANA: Preliminary, yeah

DANIELA: Entonces estoy esperando ahí sí que el destino de Dios saber que pasa. Siendo siempre positiva y esperando lo mejor.

English: So, I’m still waiting here for God’s will, to know what’s happening, always being positive and hoping for the best.

ANA: Despite all this, you can hear how calm Daniela is. She has this composure and groundedness that’s more common in people 10, 20 years older than her. To me it’s a sign she’s lived more life than most 22-year-olds. But she wasn’t always like this.

ANA: Dónde naciste

English: Where were you born?

DANIELA: Nací en la aldea Yerbabuena, Palencia, en el país de Guatemala.

English: I was born in the village Yerbabuena, Palencia, in the country of Guatemala.

ANA: Y dónde está en Guatemala, en el sur? Norte?

English: And where is that in Guatemala, in the south? North?

DANIELA: En el sur,

English: In the south

ANA: En el sur? Y cómo describirías?

English: In the south? And how would you describe it?

DANIELA: Es muy bonito. Las personas son muy amables, cariñosas.

English: It’s very beautiful. The people are very caring.

ANA: Yerbabuena is a small, farming community with rolling, tropical hills and colorful buses and streetcars that honk through the winding streets. It’s the kind of place you can throw a mango pit, and the next week, there’s a mango tree.

MUSIC CHANGES

But it’s far from idyllic. Guatemala’s government has a history of US-backed coups, human rights violations, and corruption. Gangs run huge parts of the country, even in Daniela’s little village.

DANIELA: Con los años ha cambiado. Ya nada es igual. Hay mucha gente que ha emigrado, muchas personas cariñosas que han muerto y la violencia ha avanzado más.

English: Over the years, it’s changed. Now nothing is the same since a lot of people have migrated. So many of the caring people have died. And it’s gotten more violent.

ANA: The economy is crumbling, too. Every year, droves of people leave Guatemala to find work in Mexico and the US. That’s what Daniela’s parents did. After having 4 kids, they packed up and left the country to find migrant farming jobs in the US.

DANIELA: So, todo fue que crecí con mi abuela.

English: So, because of this, I was raised by my grandmother.

ANA: Daniela’s grandmother is tough and old school. She smacks them around when they act out. There’s not much warmth in the house, or food or clothes.

DANIELA: Puedo decir que ella era un poco estricta, pero también puedo decir que tenía su lado amoroso porque cuando era de defendernos con personas que, you know, querían tratarnos mal, pues ella nos defendía. Y al final de cuenta, pues para mí y mis hermanas ella fue nuestra verdadera mamá porque ella la pasó ahí sí que los años más difíciles con nosotros… Siempre estaba enojada...pero a la vez ella no, no, no sabía la manera de demostrarnos amor.

English: I can say that she was a little strict, but I can also say that she had her loving side because when it came time to defend us from people who, you know, wanted to treat us badly, she defended us. And at the end of the day, for me and my sisters, she was our true mom because she spent those most difficult years with us. She was always mad, but at the same time, she didn’t know how to show us love.

ANA: Her parents went back and forth between their farm jobs in the states and Guatemala. When they were home, Daniela says, they would scream at each other. Daniela’s dad would chase other women, and her mother would spend all her time focused on looking for him and winning back his love. She would forget to buy food for her four kids. Daniela says she doesn’t think her parents cared whether she lived or died.

DANIELA: La verdad no la había sentido como, como una infancia que unos niños quisieran. Y yo no quería seguir viviendo lo mismo.

English: The truth is that it didn’t feel like a childhood that kids should have. And I didn’t want to continue living that way.

ANA: The streets outside feel dangerous, too. It’s half abandoned buildings, half street hustlers and people Daniela tries to avoid. She struggles to find a place where she feels safe.

DANIELA: Mi único lugar de tranquilidad era la iglesia... (MUSIC: ethereal hope) Yo iba casi todos los días, prendía mis candelas, iba a estar un rato a ayudar a las personas que cuidan la iglesia. Entonces oraba mucho y una vez yo le pedía a Dios que si su voluntad era que yo pudiera venir a este país, salir del sufrimiento que ya no quería estar, que me ayudara.

English: My only place of tranquility was the church. I went almost every day, lighting my candles. I was going just to spend time there, to help the people who care for the church. Then I’d pray a lot. And one time, I asked God if His will was that I could come to this country, to leave the suffering behind, I asked if He would help me.

ANA: Daniela is 16, and she’s already seen dozens of people from her pueblo, including her own parents, leave to find work and a new life in this country. She wants the same. So, she asks someone from the church, someone she knows can lend her the money she needs to pay her way from this tiny pueblo in Guatemala to the US Southern border. That person tells Daniela “No. I’m paying for someone else’s trip right now. I can’t afford two trips.” Heartbroken, she turns back to God to pray.

DANIELA: Y fue como pasó un milagro MUSIC que la persona después de que me había dicho que no, dijo que había conseguido otra persona y que me iba a poder ayudar.

English: And it was like a miracle happened: the person, after they told me no, told me that they had found someone else to help me.

MUSIC/SFX

ANA: Y cómo empezó el viaje?

English: And how did the trip start?

DANIELA: Bueno, en mi caso, como los de muchos inmigrantes, es hablar con un coyote para ver cuánto cobra, el proceso, y todo.

English: Well, in my case, like with many immigrants, it’s talking with a coyote to see how much he charges, the process, and everything.

ANA: ¿Cuánto cuesta?

English: How much does it cost?

DANIELA: Ehh, es dependiendo, puede ser veintidós mil quetzales...

English: It depends, it could be 22,000 quetzales.

ANA: 22,000 quetzales in about $2,800 US dollars. Which is a lot of money here, too. But in Guatemala, a typical salary is around 90,000 quetzales, even less in rural farming families. This could be a half year’s worth of wages. For people who can afford it, this payment is an investment. Once the migrants get to the US and get that higher-paying job, they are expected to return the money and then some. So, obviously, there’s some paperwork involved.

DANIELA: Entonces. La persona que me prestó el dinero para que yo pudiera viajar, yo tenía que darle un papel de algún terreno, o de una casa, o de algo como mi salvavidas se podría decir, como saber que yo voy a cumplir, que cuando esté aquí voy a pagar el dinero, o que si yo no llego y ese dinero se pierde con ella, pues va a recibir el papel y el objeto o la casa, el terreno, lo que sea. Que yo puse y firmé.

English: Then, the person who lent me the money so I could travel, I had to give them a paper for land or a house or something, as kind of like my insurance, you could say, a way to know that I am going to follow through. That when I am here, I’m gonna pay back the money. Or, if I don’t make it and this money is lost for the lender, then they will receive the paper and the object or the house, the land, whatever it is. So I put it down and signed it.

ANA: After Daniela signs the paper, the money lender pays the coyote, and Daniela packs her bags. She leaves her grandmother, her two older sisters, and her younger brother at the house that caused her so much misery and boards a bus bound for Mexico.

MUSIC: travel

ANA: Daniela is with 12 other kids from her town. She just turned 17, and she's one of the oldest.

ANA: ¿Hiciste amigos en el viaje, en el grupo?

English: Did you make friends on the trip, in the group?

DANIELA: Sí.

ANA: Sí? Y, like, cuando estás en un viaje como así, porque yo nunca he viajado como así en un bus cruzando fronteras y con otros niños, que yo no conozco... cómo son, no sé, el ambiente, cómo es el ambiente del grupo, la conversación, las amistades, cómo son?

English: Yeah? And, like, when you’re on a trip like that, because I’ve never traveled like that, on a bus, crossing borders with other kids that I don’t know – how are the, I don’t know, how is the feeling of the group, the conversations, the friendships? How are they?

DANIELA: Bueno, como siempre, hay personas que se sienten como un poquito más, cómo a pesar de que vamos en el mismo camino, son como un poquito más como presumidos. Pero hay personas que entendemos que todos vamos como en el mismo nivel porque sufrimos todos. Si nos toca comer, comemos lo mismo. Si sólo comemos una vez nos toca a todos bañarnos, dormir en el suelo...

English: Well, like always there are people who feel a little more, like even though we’re all on the same path, they’re like, a little snobbish. But there are people who understand that we are all on the level because we all suffer. If we all have to eat, we eat the same, if we only eat once a day. We all have to bathe, to sleep on the floor.

ANA: The trip through Guatemala takes three days. The group gets closer, and the newness of all of it makes it a little easier to eat once a day or sleep on the floor. The part that scares the daylights out of everyone, though, is when they have to cross the Mexican border. Immigration officials come onto the bus to find any undocumented migrants.

DANIELA: Y piden identificaciones o sólo ven las personas y dicen “No, tú tienes como un rasgo diferente”. Y bajan a los, a quien sea, los jóvenes, y los paran y ahí mismo los regresan. Eso es duro porque uno siente unos nervios tan grandes que uno ahí temblando saber que uno todo es el esfuerzo que ya hemos pasado y que lo bajen es bien duro.

English: And they ask for IDs or just look at the people and say “No, you have different features” and they take anybody, could be kids, they stop them and send them back on the spot. It’s hard because you feel, like, really nervous, like shaking, thinking that after all this effort you just made and they could just take you. It’s really hard.

ANA: Sí, sí. ¿Pero tú no tenías problema en Guatemala cruzando en México?

English: But you didn’t have any problem in Guatemala crossing into Mexico?

DANIELA: Bueno, lo que pasó fue que, gracias a Dios, venían a una señora y una pareja que eran, fueron bien amables conmigo y dijo, “Oh, tú, siéntate en medio. Y si preguntan, tú eres nuestra hija.” Y eso y. Y cuando la policía subió al bus ellos estaban como ofreciéndome algo, como, hablando conmigo para hacer como que nosotros éramos familia. Pero siempre sentí muchos nervios y mis demás compañeros también. Sí bajaron a un muchacho. Pero yo creo que era del Salvador.

ENGLISH: Well, what happened was, thank God, this woman came on, and she was part of a couple. They were really friendly with me and said, “Oh, sit between us. And if they ask you, you’re our daughter.” And when the police boarded the bus, they were, like, giving me something and talking with me to act like we were family. But I felt super nervous the whole time, and so did all my friends. They did take one boy. But I think he was from El Salvador.

ANA: Daniela and the rest of her group make it through immigration. But now, they’re in Mexico. And Mexico’s a whole lot bigger than Guatemala.

MUSIC: TRAVEL

DANIELA: Pasamos en camiones, en bus, en carro, caminando.

English: We traveled in trucks, on buses, in cars...walking.

ANA: Every day, the group gets bigger, too. What started as about 12 kids from southern Guatemala is now close to 100 people of all ages. Most of them are young men, traveling solo. Daniela is one of the few women. And every day is the same: do what your coyote says, eat what you can, sleep when you can.

DANIELA: Cuando estamos así usted no sabe ni qué hora es, ni qué día es, ni dónde está, ni cómo se llama ese lugar. Nada porque sólo encerrado. No podemos salir, no podemos nada.

English: When you’re doing that, you don’t know what hour it is, or what day it is or where you are or what the name of the place is. Nothing. Because you’re always inside. We couldn’t leave, we couldn’t do anything.

ANA: Encerraron en casas y camiones,

English: they kept you in houses and trucks.

DANIELA: Bodegas

English: Shops, too.

ANA: Y cuales comidas, con cuál alimentos?

English: And what foods, what groceries?

DANIELA: No sé el nombre de esa sopa, que era sólo como agüita con tortilla, pero muy picante. Picante, sí, demasiado, porque las personas mexicanas comen mucho picante con todos los chiles y a los guatemaltecos también comemos, pero creo que no así, de esa manera tan exagerada. Y aparte de que sólo nos daban eso dos tortillas y en México son bien delgaditas, lo que en mi país no, y eso era sólo eso para todo el día hasta el día siguiente.

English: I don't know the name of that soup, it was like water with tortilla but really spicy. Too spicy. Because Mexican people eat really spicy food. And Guatemalans too, but not like that, in such an exaggerated way. And apart from that, they only gave us two tortillas, and in Mexico the tortillas are really thin, where in my country they aren’t. And that was it for the whole day until the next.

ANA: ¿Puedes compartir una experiencia a otra que sticks with you, que todavía están en tu corazón o en tu mente?

ENGLISH: Can you share an experience that sticks with you, that’s still in your heart or mind?

DANIELA: Sí, creo que una de las más fuertes fue cuando nos tenían en una, en una, como, cabaña abandonada y nos dijeron que supuestamente teníamos como 3 días ya durmiendo ahí y yo uno en el suelo, no había colchón, no había chamarra, nada. En el puro piso y comiendo solo una vez al día. Y ese señor era bien malo, el muchacho que cuidaba ahí, que nos rentaba ese lugar y supuestamente el coyote ya había pagado los días que íbamos a estar ahí, pero él llegó otro día y él dijo “No, ustedes ya tienen más tiempo.”

English: Yes, I think one of the strongest ones was when they had us in, like, an abandoned cabin? And they told us that we had already slept there for three days. And me on the floor. There were no mattresses, no jackets, nothing. Pure floor. And eating once a day. That man was really bad, the guy that was taking care of us there, who rented us that place. And supposedly, the coyote had already paid him for the days that we were going to be there. But he came another day and said, “No, you already have more time.”

DANIELA: Él quería cobrarnos más tiempo del que no habíamos estado. Entonces el coyote que estaba con nosotros no podía pagar ese dinero porque era mucho dinero.

Entonces dijo que lo único que podíamos hacer es que todos teníamos que dar doscientos pesos de nuestra bolsa, de lo que teníamos, porque si no, él había dicho que todas las mujeres las iban a violar.

ENGLISH: He wanted us to pay for more time than we had been there. So, the coyote that was with us couldn’t pay that money because it was a lot of money. So he said that the only thing we could do was to give him 200 pesos ourselves, of what we had, because if not, the man said he would rape all the women.

MUSIC

ANA: If you just joined us, I’m Ana González, and this is Mosaic. Today, the story of Daniela, an unaccompanied minor, and her journey from Guatemala to Rhode Island.

ANA: Their coyote tells them to pool what’s left of their remaining money and gives it to the man. Then, he tells them to pile into cars and leave. They make it out alive and untouched, but shaken, and move on to the next house, the next bodega, the next floor.

On day 21 of being in Mexico, Daniela and the group arrive at a small house in the desert. She hears trains.

DANIELA: Se escucha súper cerca y se ve y da mucho miedo

English: You could hear them really close and see them and it scared me.

ANA: She knows they’re close to the end. The man at the house they’re at gives them soup with some lumps of what looks like chicken in it.

DANIELA: O no sé que era carne de no sé qué, porque se miraba bien extraña, pero nosotros muriendonos de hambre, teníamos que comerla o lo que sea. Y el señor que nos dio esa comida dijo “Si traen dinero tienen que dejármelo a mí. No pueden llevar ya nada para Estados Unidos.”

ENGLISH: Or, I don’t know what meat it was because it looked pretty weird, but we were dying of hunger, we had to eat it. And the man who gave us the food said, “If you have money on you, leave it with me. You can’t bring anything into the United States.”

ANA: Finally, they’re close. It’s been a month since Daniela left home. And soon, she’ll make it to the place she’s been dreaming and praying about for years. She pays her coyote the rest of her 22,000 quetzales and waits with fear shaking her body. If she gets caught and sent home, all of this will be for nothing. Then, it’s time. Daniela and her group leave with their Coyote under the cover of night. They walk to the banks of the Rio Grande. There are rafts waiting for them.

DANIELA: Entonces el grupito de nosotros que venía ya de mi pueblo nos veíamos como puesto de acuerdo, you know, vamos a pasar todos, todos juntos para seguir como hemos venido cuidándonos durante todo el proceso. Entonces una de nuestras compañeras, porque en cada balsa sólo pueden ir once personas. Ella se filtró en las otras diez personas y se fue. Y nosotros nos quedamos.

English: So the small group of us who had come from my town, we had an agreement. If one of us is going to go through something, you know, we will continue as we have been taking care of each other throughout the process. Then one of our companions, because each raft only held 11 people, she filtered into another group of 10 and left. And we stayed.

ANA: The friend’s raft passes over the river quietly. The 11 kids from Guatemala see their friend reach Texas. But then HELICOPTER SOUND

DANIELA: Cuando iba a pasar nuestra balsa, pasó migración en el helicóptero y nos alumbró cuando íbamos a cruzar el río. Y porque vamos en unos terrenos que son grandes, llenos de milpa o algún sembrado. Y nosotros estábamos escondidos….

ENGLISH: When it was our turn, immigration came in the helicopter and lit us up when were about to cross the river. We went into some large fields, full of corn or some other crops, and we were hidden there.

ANA: They think they’re safe and make their way to the river. But then – helicopter sound – the lights hit them again.

DANIELA: Todos llorando, gritando, porque ahora si que se perdía todo el dinero. Y mis otros compañeros, todos estábamos llorando con mucho miedo. Lo que nos quedó hacer es que habían hoyos muy grandes, como que ahí hay cuevas de animales. No sé. Nos tocó meternos ahí, encima de uno u otro, como cayera para cubrirnos porque ya iba migración en carros para agarrarnos. Entonces en lo que eso el helicóptero vio que nos fuimos corriendo y fue alumbrara otro a otro lado, en el río y en lo que eso el coyote puso rápido la balsa y cruzamos el río.

English: Everyone was crying, screaming, because now we’ve lost all our money. And my other friends, everyone was crying, very afraid. All we could do is, there were really big holes, like animal caves there. I do not know. We just all got in there, on top of each other to cover us because immigration was already their cars, going to catch us. So, the helicopter saw that we ran. It was shining its light from one side of the river to the other and in the river. So, the coyote put the raft in the water quickly, and we crossed the river.

MUSIC

ANA: ¿Y qué pasó? ¿Qué pasó allí?

English: And then what happened? What happened there?

DANIELA: Fue otro proceso. Porque no sólo todo el miedo de cruzar el río, de saber si hay cocodrilos o serpientes o algún animal peligroso, hay que subir para poder llegar al camino de donde está inmigración. Entonces ya nosotros ya no teníamos energía, ya estábamos demasiado cansados. Yo ya no podía más. Yo me quedé, ya me iba a quedar ahí. Pero gracias a Dios, uno de mis compañeros me agarró de la mano y subió conmigo.

English: It was another process. Because it wasn’t just the fear of crossing the river, of knowing if there were crocodiles or snakes or some dangerous animal. We had to climb up a hill to get to the road where immigration was. And we all were so tired already. I couldn’t do it. I was done. I was going to stay there. But thank God, one of my friends took me by the hand and led me up the hill.

ANA: At the top of the hill, after a month of travelling in fear and 22,000 quetzales gone, Daniela and her whole group are arrested by US border agents. Because they’re unaccompanied minors, they’re not just sent back to their countries or to court. They’re loaded on a bus filled with about 100 other children.

DANIELA: Fuimos a la... No sé cómo decir dónde llevan a los niños de inmigración.

English: We went to, I don’t know how to say it, where they take kids from immigration?

ANA: Es como un like Detention Center.

DANIELA: Sí, un centro de detención. Correcto. Sí.

ANA: The detention center in Texas is cold. They give Daniela a blanket and make her put her bag through a metal detector and walk through a security line, kind of like at the airport. But everyone there is a kid who just stumbled off of a raft and into a new country at the end of weeks of harrowing travel.

DANIELA: Entonces entramos, nos mandan a ese cuartito que es muy pequeño y vemos como unos 50 o 40 niños y es bien pequeño y sólo hay dos bancas de cemento...y ahí tenían que estar todos las niñas.

English: Then we enter, and they send us to this little room, it’s so small. And we see 40 or 50 kids. And it’s so small, with only two cement benches. It’s where the girls were.

ANA: They give the kids ham and cheese sandwiches, still frozen, and those foil blankets they give to marathon runners after a race. Daniela is one of the oldest girls out of the 50 in her small room. She curls up in her foil blanket and tries to fight the cold and sleep. The next day. They put her and some other kids on a bus to another detention center in Texas. She doesn’t know where, exactly.

DANIELA: Y a ese otro lugar le decimos la perrera porque también son como jaulas. Están como separados. Pero ahí sí nos dieron unos colchoncitos. Y también habían muchísimos niños

English: And in that other place, we called it the “dog cage” because they were like cages. We were separated, but there they gave us mattress pads. And there were also a ton of kids.

ANA: Como cuánto?

English: Like how many?

DANIELA: También como unos 50 o 40? Depende. Porque depende de lo que quepan de colchones. Así metía a los niños. Pero ahí sí ya nos dieron una ropa para bañarnos y nos revisar si teníamos piojos. Y ya. Y había una tele pequeña y siempre los mismos sándwiches.

English: Again, like 40 or 50. It depends. Because it depends on how many mattresses fit. That’s how they put the children in. But there, they gave us clothes and checked us for lice. And that was it. There was a small TV and always those same sandwiches.

ANA: The frozen ham and cheese. All in all, Daniela is in these family detention centers for 2 days. While she’s there, she’s able to call her cousin and aunt, who live in Providence, RI, to tell them that she’s made it to the US. And soon, immigration moves her again. This time by plane, to Miami, to live in a group home until her asylum case is heard in court. Which sounds like another scary place until Daniela actually gets there.

DANIELA: Sólo llegué con otra compañerita a esa casa hogar. Pero si soy sincera, ha sido la mejor experiencia de mi vida. Yo creo que en ese lugar viví, viví mi niñez que siempre hubiera querido vivir. Entonces sentí tanto amor. Yo ya ni quería salir de ahí.

ENGLISH: I arrived at that home with only one friend of mine from the trip. But if I’m honest, it was the best experience of my life. I think that in that place, I lived, I lived the childhood I had always wanted to live. I felt so much love. And I never wanted to leave.

MUSIC: happy, settled

ANA: It’s April of 2016 when Daniela and her friend arrive at the group home. Right away, they’re given beds and a schedule: school during the day, then homework and dinner and chores. The structure of it, the consistency of the care, and the warmth from the other girls give her support she’s never known. And for the first time, Daniela takes a breath and heals.

MUSIC STOPS

But after 5 months, her asylum case is denied. She’s not deported because she’s still underaged and can qualify for other protections that don’t exactly give her status, but do allow her to live in this country and work. But then, Daniela turns 18, and she has to leave the group home and go live with the only family she knows in the US, her cousin in Providence.

And when she gets here, it’s tough. Providence feels darker and colder than Miami. And, Daniela is 18 now. It’s a lot harder for her to go to school and finish her GED. Her cousin gets her a job working at a little store during the day and cleaning Emerald Square Mall in North Attleborough at night. But she really just wants to be a kid and go to school.

DANIELA: Ahí sí se pasaron los días y yo estaba trabajando en mi trabajo tranquila y todo. Cuando de repente entró en la llamada yo gritando con mis compañeras no me va a pasar lo mejor de mi vida. Y ellas dicen “Que te dieron los papeles?” “No, algo mejor. Entrar a la escuela!” Todo eso, felicidades y todo. porque para mí era una emoción, porque yo sé que aquí es una gran oportunidad y a la vez fue como, como no me lo esperaba. Como he luchado tanto por esto y me han cerrado tantas puertas que de verdad quiero echarle ganas. Y entonces si yo estaba muy feliz de saber que si me habían podido recibir en esa escuela.

English: There, the days passed, and I worked my job quietly, and everything. When one day, suddenly, I got a call. And I’m screaming with my coworkers “This is the best day of my life!” And they said, “They gave you your papers?” “Something better! I'm going to school!” And all of the congratulations and everything because for me, it was emotional, because I know that here, you know, it’s a big opportunity, but at the same time, it was like, I lost hope in it. Like I had fought so hard for this, and they had closed so many doors. And truthfully, I really wanted to succeed. So I was really happy to know that the school was going to accept me.

MUSIC

ANA: Daniela goes to a high school called Nowell Academy in Providence. Most of the students are pregnant or parenting. Some, like Daniela, are immigrants who never got their high school diploma. It takes a minute for her to get used to the school and find teaching staff that speaks Spanish. But as soon as she does, she excels. She does so well that she gets a scholarship to college. This time, it’s another education program geared towards working adults called College Unbound. And that’s where she is now. She’s working on her degree in leadership and art.

DANIELA: Mi visión era enfocarme como en tener mi propio negocio y emplear a otras personas como para seguir motivándolos. Y así poder lograr lo que es mi sueño que es hacer una casa hogar. Ya sea aquí o en mi país porque sé que en mi país también es difícil entonces también podría ser allá.

English: My vision was to focus on having my own business and employing other people to keep motivating them. And that’s how I can achieve my dream, which is to create a group home. It could be here or back in my country because I know things are difficult there, too, so it could be back home.

MUSIC

ANA: While Daniela’s asylum case heads to court later this month, her future is uncertain. But at least, here, in this new home, Daniela can see possibilities, even if that means returning to Guatemala some day.

With that, I want to leave you with the last lines of that Warsan Shire poem: i want to go home,

but home is the mouth of a shark

home is the barrel of the gun

and no one would leave home

unless home chased you to the shore

unless home told you

to quicken your legs

leave your clothes behind

crawl through the desert

wade through the oceans

drown

save

be hunger

beg

forget pride

your survival is more important

no one leaves home until home is a sweaty voice in your ear

saying-

leave,

run away from me now

i don't know what i've become

but i know that anywhere

is safer than here.

ANA: Mosaic is a production of The Public’s Radio. Edited by Sally Eisele. Produced by James Baumgartner and Pearl Marvell. Original music by Bryn Bliska. Website support from Jeff Matteis. Torey Malatia is the general manager of The Public’s Radio. Pearl Marvell was the English voice of Daniela. I’m Ana González. Thanks for listening. Just a quick note, this is the last episode of this season of Mosaic. So, get ready for some new stuff in the future. Thanks for listening all these weeks. We really appreciate you.

Support for this program comes from the Carnegie Corporation of New York, supporting innovations in democratic engagement and the advancement of international peace and security at carnegie.org.

Episode
Highlights

COMING TO RHODE ISLAND

“Bueno, yo pienso que cuando viajamos a nuestro país y tenemos una expectativa muy diferente porque ‘Wow, los Estados Unidos, dólares, mansiones, gente millonaria y todo eso.’ No esperamos ver como casas abandonadas, personas en la calle y, you know, muchas cosas que uno no, no trae esa expectativa.”

Translation: Well, I think when we come to this country, we have a very different expectation because, it’s like ‘Wow, the United States: dollars, mansions, millionaires and all that.’ We don’t expect to see, like, abandoned houses, people on the street, and, you know, a lot of things that one doesn’t, you don’t bring that expectation.
—DANIELA

FILING ASYLUM

“Ahora mismo estoy haciendo el asilo porque fue por el que cualifique por mi edad… Tengo una corte ahora en agosto… Entonces estoy esperando ahí sí que el destino de Dios saber que pasa. Siendo siempre positiva y esperando lo mejor.”

Translation: Right now, I’m filing for asylum because I could qualify for my age. I have a court date now in August…So, I’m still waiting here for God’s will, to know what’s happening, always being  positive and hoping for the best.

—DANIELA

YERBABUENA

“Con los años ha cambiado. Ya nada es igual. Hay mucha gente que ha emigrado, muchas personas cariñosas que han muerto y la violencia ha avanzado más.”

Translation: Over the years, it’s changed. Now nothing is the same since a lot of people have migrated. So many of the caring people have died. And it’s gotten more violent.
—DANIELA

“La verdad es no la había sentido como una infancia que unos niños quisieran. Y yo no quería seguir viviendo lo mismo.”

Translation: The truth is that it didn’t feel like a childhood that kids would want. And I didn’t want to continue living that way.
—DANIELA

“Mi único lugar de tranquilidad era la iglesia.”

Translation: My only place of tranquility was the church.
—DANIELA

STARTING THE JOURNEY

“Y fue como pasó un milagro que la persona después de que me había dicho que no, dijo que había conseguido otra persona y que me iba a poder ayudar.”

Translation: And it was like a miracle happened: the person, after they told me no, told me that they had found someone else to help me.
—DANIELA

“Bueno, en mi caso, como los de muchos inmigrantes, es hablar con un coyote para ver cuánto cobra, el proceso, y todo.”

Translation: Well, in my case, like with many immigrants, it’s talking with a coyote to see how much he charges, the process, and everything.
—DANIELA

BEING A MIGRANT

“Todos vamos como en el mismo nivel porque sufrimos todos. Si nos toca comer, comemos lo mismo. Si sólo comemos una vez nos toca a todos bañarnos, dormir en el suelo…”

Translation: We are all on the level because we all suffer. If we all have to eat, we eat the same, if we only eat once a day. We all have to bathe, to sleep on the floor.
—DANIELA

“Pasamos en camiones, en bus, en carro, caminando.”

Translation: We traveled in trucks, on buses, in cars…walking.
—DANIELA

“Cuando estamos así usted no sabe ni qué hora es, ni qué día es, ni dónde está, ni cómo se llama ese lugar. Nada porque sólo encerrado. No podemos salir, no podemos nada.”

Translation: When you’re doing that, you don’t know what hour it is, or what day it is or where you are or what the name of the place is. Nothing. Because you’re always inside. We couldn’t leave, we couldn’t do anything.
—DANIELA

“Él quería cobrarnos más tiempo del que no habíamos estado. Entonces el coyote que estaba con nosotros no podía pagar ese dinero porque era mucho dinero. Entonces dijo que lo único que podíamos hacer es que todos teníamos que dar doscientos pesos de nuestra bolsa, de lo que teníamos, porque si no, él había dicho que todas las mujeres las iban a violar.”

Translation: He wanted us to pay for more time than we had been there. So, the coyote that was with us couldn’t pay that money because it was a lot of money. So he said that the only thing we could do was to give him 200 pesos ourselves, of what we had, because if not, the man said he would rape all the women.
—DANIELA

EL RIO GRANDE

“Todos llorando, gritando, porque ahora si que se perdía todo el dinero. Y mis otros compañeros, todos estábamos llorando con mucho miedo. Lo que nos quedó hacer es que habían hoyos muy grandes, como que ahí hay cuevas de animales. No sé. Nos tocó meternos ahí, encima de uno u otro, como cayera para cubrirnos porque ya iba migración en carros para agarrarnos. Entonces en lo que eso el helicóptero vio que nos fuimos corriendo y fue alumbrara otro a otro lado, en el río y en lo que eso el coyote puso rápido la balsa y cruzamos el río.”

Translation: Everyone was crying, screaming, because now we’ve lost all our money. And my other friends, everyone was crying, very afraid.  All we could do is, there were really big holes, like animal caves there. I do not know. We just all got in there, on top of each other to cover us because immigration was already their cars, going to catch us. So, the helicopter saw that we ran. It was shining its light from one side of the river to the other and in the river. So, the coyote put the raft in the water quickly, and we crossed the river.
—DANIELA

INSIDE THE DETENTION CENTER

“Entonces entramos, nos mandan a ese cuartito que es muy pequeño y vemos como unos 50 o 40 niños y es bien pequeño y sólo hay dos bancas de cemento…y ahí tenían que estar todos las niñas.

Translation: Then we enter, and they send us to this little room, it’s so small. And we see 40 or 50 kids. And it’s so small, with only two cement benches. It’s where the girls were.
—DANIELA

WORK, SCHOOL, NEW LIFE

“Ahí sí se pasaron los días y yo estaba trabajando en mi trabajo tranquila y todo. Cuando de repente entró en la llamada yo gritando con mis compañeras no me va a pasar lo mejor de mi vida. Y ellas dicen ‘Que te dieron los papeles?’ ‘No, algo mejor. Entrar a la escuela!’”

Translation: There, the days passed, and I worked my job quietly, and everything. When one day, suddenly, I got a call. And I’m screaming with my coworkers ‘This is the best day of my life!’ And they said, ‘They gave you your papers?’ ‘Something better! I’m going to school!’
—DANIELA

“Mi visión era enfocarme como en tener mi propio negocio y emplear a otras personas como para seguir motivándolos. Y así poder lograr lo que es mi sueño que es hacer una casa hogar. Ya sea aquí o en mi país porque sé que en mi país también es difícil entonces también podría ser allá.”

Translation: My vision was to focus on having my own business and employing other people to keep motivating them. And that’s how I can achieve my dream, which is to create a group home. It could be here or back in my country because I know things are difficult there, too, so it could be back home.
—DANIELA

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